Trust me #62
I Am The Cosmos by Chris Bell
I Am The Cosmos was an almost mythical song that I used to read about in interviews by some of my favourite artists. Norman Blake, Tim Burgess, Bobby Gillespie all mentioned the song with a sense of awe. It kept cropping up.
Back in those days, it wasn't a case of searching on YouTube, Spotify or Apple Music. You had to try and track down the record or CD. Easier said than done for some records that my heroes referred to - many were long out of print and hadn't received a CD reissue.
Eventually I heard I Am The Cosmos on the album of the same name. I can't remember where I got the CD, but I'd hazard a guess that it was Missing Records. I was a regular in my teens, popping in to their Oswald Street store a couple of times a week after work; buying 7-inch singles, the odd album and making mental notes of what I'd buy after the next payday.
I found out that the CD (issued in 1992) was the first time the album had been released! Chris Bell died in a car accident in 1978 at the age of only 27. His only solo material released in his lifetime was the I Am The Cosmos b/w You and Your Sister single, also in 78.
Previously, Chris Bell had formed Big Star with Alex Chilton in 1971. I got into Big Star after the many references made to the band in Teenage Fanclub articles. The beloved power pop band never really made it while they were together, but their music still leaves a mark on many to this very day. I guess it always will.
The bands debut album #1 Record, released in 1972, only sold 10,000 copies on release and Bell left the band, disappointed by the sales, despite considerable and consistent good reviews.
Post Big Star, Bell struggled with depression. The album took him 3-years to record. Alex Chilton played and sang on some of the songs. Bell also produced (and played) on an album by a band called Prix that I intend to check out.
I Am The Cosmos is a truly beautiful album that tugs on the heart strings through songs like Speed Of Sound, You And Your Sister and There Was A Light. Check them out - total gems. The guitar on There Was A Light is sublime, really gets me, raw emotion.
On to the song I Am The Cosmos though. Rolling Stone described it as being; utterly transcendent, a lush, spine-tingling number in which megolomania and vulnerability come together in these unfathomable lines;
Every night I tell myself I am the cosmos
I am the wind
But that don't get you back again
What can I add? Well, it's a song that grabs my attention every time I hear it. And when I do, I will always play it more than once.
Bell starts singing immediately, there is no intro. The guitars are gloriously soaked in reverb and Bell's voice sounds a little broken as he sings never want to be alone.
Then there is the genius bit where he sings no, no, before going on to sing yeah.
Wanted too much to say no, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
After a drum roll, a glorious piercing (yet warm) guitar solo (with handclaps and tambourine lying beautifully under the surface) takes listeners on a 40-second journey that they'll want to experience again and again.
Bell comes back in full confessional mode, don't know what's going on inside, before closing with the mantra; I'd really like to see you again, I really wanna see you again
Just before the song fades, Bell changes things to sing; I never wanna see you again.
WOW - what a song! This Mortal Coil and Scarlett Johansson have both covered the song, but this blog is all about Bell - check the song and album.
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