Monday 16 October 2023

I Am The Cosmos

Trust me #62
I Am The Cosmos by Chris Bell

I Am The Cosmos was an almost mythical song that I used to read about in interviews by some of my favourite artists. Norman Blake, Tim Burgess, Bobby Gillespie all mentioned the song with a sense of awe. It kept cropping up.

Back in those days, it wasn't a case of searching on YouTube, Spotify or Apple Music. You had to try and track down the record or CD. Easier said than done for some records that my heroes referred to - many were long out of print and hadn't received a CD reissue.

Eventually I heard I Am The Cosmos on the album of the same name. I can't remember where I got the CD, but I'd hazard a guess that it was Missing Records. I was a regular in my teens, popping in to their Oswald Street store a couple of times a week after work; buying 7-inch singles, the odd album and making mental notes of what I'd buy after the next payday. 

I found out that the CD (issued in 1992) was the first time the album had been released! Chris Bell died in a car accident in 1978 at the age of only 27. His only solo material released in his lifetime was the I Am The Cosmos b/w You and Your Sister single, also in 78.

Previously, Chris Bell had formed Big Star with Alex Chilton in 1971. I got into Big Star after the many references made to the band in Teenage Fanclub articles. The beloved power pop band never really made it while they were together, but their music still leaves a mark on many to this very day. I guess it always will. 

The bands debut album #1 Record, released in 1972, only sold 10,000 copies on release and Bell left the band, disappointed by the sales, despite considerable and consistent good reviews.

Post Big Star, Bell struggled with depression. The album took him 3-years to record. Alex Chilton played and sang on some of the songs. Bell also produced (and played) on an album by a band called Prix that I intend to check out. 

I Am The Cosmos is a truly beautiful album that tugs on the heart strings through songs like Speed Of SoundYou And Your Sister and There Was A Light. Check them out - total gems. The guitar on There Was A Light is sublime, really gets me, raw emotion. 

On to the song I Am The Cosmos though. Rolling Stone described it as being; utterly transcendent, a lush, spine-tingling number in which megolomania and vulnerability come together in these unfathomable lines;

Every night I tell myself I am the cosmos

I am the wind

But that don't get you back again

What can I add? Well, it's a song that grabs my attention every time I hear it. And when I do, I will always play it more than once. 

Bell starts singing immediately, there is no intro. The guitars are gloriously soaked in reverb and Bell's voice sounds a little broken as he sings never want to be alone

Then there is the genius bit where he sings no, no, before going on to sing yeah.

Wanted too much to say no, no

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

After a drum roll, a glorious piercing (yet warm) guitar solo (with handclaps and tambourine lying beautifully under the surface) takes listeners on a 40-second journey that they'll want to experience again and again.

Bell comes back in full confessional mode, don't know what's going on inside, before closing with the mantra; I'd really like to see you again, I really wanna see you again

Just before the song fades, Bell changes things to sing; I never wanna see you again.

WOW - what a song! This Mortal Coil and Scarlett Johansson have both covered the song, but this blog is all about Bell - check the song and album.

I Am The Cosmos - Chris Bell

I Am The Cosmos is added to my Trust Me playlist; search for Everything Flows - Trust Me on Spotify , or CLICK HERE Check below for all previous blogs in my Trust Me series.

Previous Trust Me blogs

1. Something On Your Mind by Karen Dalton
1A. Crimson and Clover by Tommy James and the Shondells
2. I Am, I Said  by Neil Diamond
3. Where's The Playground Susie?   by Glen Campbell
4. If You Could Read My Mind by Gordon Lighfoot
5. Gimme Some Truth by John Lennon
6. Gone With The Wind Is My Love by Rita and the Tiaras
7. In The Year 2525 by Zager and Evans
8. The Music Box by Ruth Copeland
9. The Ship Song by Nick Cave
10. Sometimes by James
11. I Walk The Earth by King Biscuit Time
12. Didn't Know What I Was In For by Better Oblivion Community Centre
13. When My Boy Walks Down The Street by The Magnetic Fields
14. The Man Don't Give A F**k by Super Furry Animals
15. All Flowers In Time Bend Towards The Sun by Jeff Buckley and Liz Fraser
16. Are You Lookin' by The Tymes
17. A Real Hero by College & Electric Youth
18. Feelings Gone by Callum Easter
19. Sunday Morning by The Velvet Underground
20. Did I Say by Teenage Fanclub
21. Don't Look Back by Teenage Fanclub
23. Belfast by Orbital
24. Clouds by The Jayhawks
25. Dreaming Of You by The Coral
26. Everlasting Love by Love Affair
27. Walk Away Renee by The Left Banke
28. Teenage Kicks by The Undertones
29. Shaky Ground by Sneeze
29. Rill Rill by Sleigh Bells
30. I Can Feel Your Love by Felice Taylor
31. The State We're In by The Chemical Brothers w/ Beth Orton
32. Sunshine After The Rain by Ellie Greenwich
33. Losing My Edge by LCD Soundsystem
34. Mondo 77 by Looper
35. Les Fleurs by Minnie Riperton
36. Rat Trap by The Boomtown Rats
37. How High by The Charlatans
38. I Can't Let Go by Evie Sands
39. Pop Song 89 by R.E.M.
40. Summertime Clothes by Animal Collective
41. There She Goes by The Las
42. We're Going To Be Friends by White Stripes
43. Autumn Sweater by Yo La Tengo
44. Sister Rena by Lomond Campbell
45. Revolution by The Beatles
46. Lazarus by The Boo Radleys
47. Wrote For Luck by Happy Mondays
48. American Trilogy by The Delgados
49. Loser by Beck 
50. Silent Sigh by Badly Drawn Boy
51. Comedy by Shack
52. Take The Skinheads Bowling by Camper Van Beethoven
53. Freakscene by Dinosaur Jr
54. Thank You For Being You by The Pastels
55. I Think I'm In Love by Spiritualized
56. Chestnut Mare by The Byrds
57. Cannonball by The Breeders
58. Like A Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan
59. You Make Me Weak At The Knees by Electrelane
60. Lucky by Radiohead
61. Strange Currencies by R.E.M.

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